I’m pouting. I can’t help myself, and I resent Miller for not being able to do what comes to me too easily. Bury my head in the sand. Ignore it. Carry on like nothing shitty has ever happened.
‘Are you and Miller OK?’ Nan’s concerned croak breaks through my racing mind and puts me firmly back where I want to be.
‘Perfect,’ I lie, forcing a smile and collecting her bag from the floor. ‘Are you ready?’
‘Yes!’ she grumbles, exasperated, before slapping a smile back on her age-worn face and turning towards the bed opposite hers, forcing me to turn with her. ‘Bye, Enid!’ she shouts, stirring the poor old lady from what looks like a deep sleep. ‘Enid!’
‘Nan, she’s snoozing!’
‘She’s always bloody snoozing. Enid!’
The old dear’s eyes slowly open until she’s staring around, a little bewildered.
‘Over here!’ Nan yells, raising her hand and waving it above her head. ‘Cooooeeee!’
‘For God’s sake,’ I grumble, my feet starting to move when Nan begins trotting across the ward.
‘Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, Olivia,’ she warns, dragging me alongside her. ‘Enid, dear, I’m going home now.’
Enid gives us a gummy smile, making a small laugh of sympathy slip from my mouth. She’s so frail and clearly not with it. ‘Where are you going?’ she croaks, attempting to sit up but giving up on an exhausted sigh.
‘Home, dear.’ Nan gets us to the side of Enid’s bed and shuffles from my hold so she can take her hand. ‘This is my granddaughter, Olivia. Remember? You met her before.’
‘I did?’ She turns inspecting eyes on me and Nan turns to follow her stare, smiling at me when she has me in view. ‘Oh yes. I remember.’
I smile as both ladies hold me in place with old, wise eyes, feeling a little uncomfortable under their studying stares. ‘It was nice to meet you, Enid.’
‘You take care, duck.’ She pulls her hand from Nan’s with some determined effort and grasps at air before me, prompting me to give her what she’s looking for. I rest my hand in hers. ‘He’ll be perfect,’ she says, making my head cock in question. ‘He’ll be perfect for you.’
‘Who will?’ I ask on a nervous laugh, flicking my eyes to a serious-looking Nan. She shrugs and turns back towards Enid, who’s drawing a laboured breath of air, ready to enlighten us, but she says no more, dropping my hand and falling back into a deep sleep.
I bite my lip and resist the urge to tell a sleeping Enid that he’s already perfect for me, however weird her surprising claim is.
‘Hmmm.’ Nan’s thoughtful hum drags my attention back to her. She’s watching Enid sleeping with a fond smile. ‘No family,’ Nan says, spiking immediate sadness within me. ‘She’s been here for over a month and not one person has visited. Can you imagine being so alone?’
‘No,’ I admit, contemplating such loneliness. I may have cut myself off from the world, but I was never lonely. Never alone. Miller was, though.
‘Surround yourself with people who love you,’ Nan says to herself, yet the intention for me to hear is obvious, although her reason for such a statement isn’t. ‘Take me home, sweetheart.’
I waste no time gesturing my arm for Nan to slip hers through and start a slow, easy walk to the exit. ‘Are you feeling OK?’ I ask, just as Miller rounds the corner, his luscious lips displaying a hint of a smile. He isn’t fooling me. I caught the stressed eyes on his impassive face before he spotted us.
‘Here he is!’ Nan sings. ‘All suited and booted.’
Miller relieves me of Nan’s bag and takes up position on the other side of her, offering his arm, too, which she takes on a happy smile. ‘The rose between two thorns,’ she titters, forcing us both closer to her with a surprisingly firm tightening of her arms. ‘Toodle-oo!’ she shouts at the nurse’s station as we pass. ‘Farewell!’